ene at twenty-one [a love letter]
You don’t turn 21 everyday [realistically, you don’t turn any age twice but that’s not our focus here, is it?] and this is a much needed memorialization of my mind at turning 21. You can call this a sort of journal entry. [ps: this is a wave and might get a little sad. everyone gets sad, right? Consider this a sort of acknowledgement and stern-ish reproach].
Life throws many things at us, all we need to do is find a way to catch the right ones and throw the unnecessary out. You need to learn everyday to fully grow into yourself, your power and purpose. We can always wallow but it becomes a burden when you get comfortable and stay wallowing for too long.
That’s the first lesson; never stay down for too long.
It’s okay to not be okay but never get used to it. Wake up and smell the flowers, life is more precious than you could have ever imagined it to be. Thoughts of not existing will fix nothing really; the more you think, the more weight you pick up. Please unload and let go. Take this thing at the heel and take control. Yes, you’ve messed up but what exactly can you do to change the past? [if you could borrow the time machine from “see you tomorrow”, you could change some things ene but okay, speak your truth]. Your mind obviously needs a gear shift.
Get out of reverse and drive ma’am.
You can’t be too mad at how people react to your actions. Loss of time causes a loss of love, always remember. You know what’s good for you. Do just that and stop self-sabotaging. There’s so much beauty and excellence in you, allow the light to shine through. Allow it. There’s so much in you, unleash and don’t let perish.
Breathe.
Everyone’s figuring stuff out just like you are but to become quite invested in your pain? Don’t do that honey. You’re allowed reasons but never let them extend into excuses, you’re bigger than that. stand in your truth and don’t fumble. Feel fully and speak honestly. There’s nothing to fear when you look at the bigger picture, release the anxiety and breathe.
Seriously, just breathe when it feels too much. You’ve tried it and it does a thing.
Plant yourself firmly in your faith. There’s so much you’re capable of, do you understand what has been invested in you? If not for yourself, do it for the investors. Even Jesus has shares in the company of your spirit, shall you then disappoint your God?
This does feel like the end of this ene’s reality. It’s not going to take the flip of a switch to get where you’re headed but every step is important. Just keep moving forward. There are so many hands planted and reaching out to you, leave your worrisome contemplations behind and reach back out because you’ve tasted love and it doesn’t feel so bad, does it?
It’s okay baby, you are okay. Life is life and you’ll only learn to figure it all out. Enjoy it all while you can, sit up and focus on the day-to-day. Drifting through life comes at a high cost. Do better.
I’d do anything for you my love.
playlist can be found on Apple Music: year 21